My Online Girlfriend

There's a girl I met on the Internet -- she likes to call me all the time. She loves to write me e-mails and send me text messages. And she really loves to meet me in the chat room for some more quality time together.

There's only one thing she hasn't done, and that's actually meet me face-to-face -- despite my best efforts to make it happen. She went through a bad break-up last year and she says she just isn't ready to date anyone right now.

I think some girls like being in a cyber-relationship. It gives them the intimacy they're looking for without them having to actually leave the house. They don't have to deal with anything they don't want to deal with -- like a guy who might want to take the "relationship" to the next level.

My cyber-gal talks a good game, saying she would love to meet me/date me in the future -- but I know that future may never come. She enjoys the safety of our online "relationship." Me, I just get frustrated that I can't be with her. I consider it a form of torture every time she calls me.

I think people should be judged by their actions, not their words. People can promise you anything online, but unless they're actually willing to meet you in the flesh, their promises are just empty words, floating around in cyberspace.

Flirting with Disaster

I once dated a girl who considered herself a "flirt." Her attitude was, "I'm coming to the bar with you. And I'm leaving with you. But inbetween, I will flirt with every other guy in the bar, dance with a bunch of different guys, and give out my number to whoever I want." She figured it was all good, since she was going home with me at the the end of the night.

But it wasn't all good. It is not fun to watch your date flirt with every other guy in the bar. You wind up hanging out by yourself for a good portion of the night, and that is not fun at all.

My date was an "Attention Whore," but she denied it. She tried to play it off like all these men were coming to her. The reality was, she encouraged them to approach her and she initiated contact as often as they did.

After one night of this behavior, I decided I did not want to see her again. Flirting can be a fun way to meet someone, but it is not fun to date someone who is a habitual flirter. As far as I'm concerned, you are either with the person you came with or you are not. You can't have it both ways.

Dating Someone who Drinks a LOT more Than You Do

I'm something of a lightweight when it comes to drinking. One or two drinks and I'm good for the night. I'm more of a social drinker than anything else.

Recently I dated a girl who was a big-time partyer. She would call me up and say,"Do you want to go out for a drink?" I naively assumed that meant she literally wanted to out for one drink, maybe two, tops. Dopey me. For a true drinker, there is no such thing as having "One drink."

That actually translated into: "Do you want to stay in a bar, drinking for hours and hours until closing time, and then go looking for a fast food restaurant that is open at three in the morning?"

It also meant I was spending a lot of money buying on drinks that I really didn't want.

I guess the lesson here is to only try to date people you have something in common with.

The whole time we were hanging out in a bar, I was getting bored and wondering when we were going to leave. But to her, we couldn't leave the bar until she heard those two magic words, "Last call!"

Navigating the Holidays

I met a new girl just before Christmas. We had just started dating, so it was way too soon to give each other big Christmas gifts. I just gave her something small. We talked about spending Christmas together, but it just didn't work out. She had plans with her family, I had plans with mine.

I had to work on New Year's Eve at my bartending job, so we couldn't see each other then. We dated for a couple more weeks before it finally fizzled out in mid-January. I was sorry to see it end so soon, but on the other hand, I would've hated to blow a lot of money on Valentine's Day, only to break up a week later.

The upshot of it all is that I dated a girl for a month or so but got out of spending big bucks on Christmas, New Year' Eve, and Valentine's Day. I'm not saying I'm cheap or anything, but you have to give me credit for good timing!

Drunk Dialing

Have you ever Drunk Dialed anyone? I haven't. But I did have someone Drunk Dial me the other night. It was a girl I have been dating for the past few weeks. She was out late with her friends, getting a good buzz going.

I had gone to bed extra early that night, and was resting soundly when the phone rang at one in the morning. I saw that it was my friend, "Bonnie," calling. (Name changed to protect the innocent.)

She was very drunk. And very loud. And giddy. I was tired. I just wanted to close my eyes and go back to sleep. I like Bonnie, but I don't like talking to anyone after being awakened from a deep sleep. Her conversation was all over the place. She was giddy like a schoolgirl, mad at me for some stuff I said last week. Horny for me. Pissed at me. Up, down, it was like a roller coaster ride. She started bringing up issues that we have had in our relationship ever since we met.

I really didn't feel like having a serious discussion about "where we were going" at that moment. I didn't feel like doing anything except going to sleep. The conversation went on fora few more minutes, with her doing most of the talking. I just tried to agree with everything she said and hoped I would be able to get back to sleep.

Finally she decided it was time to get back to partying with her friends and she ended the call. I'm not sure what either one of us got out of it. It is flattering that she chose to call me, but it would have been much more flattering if she waited till morning and been more coherent.

I turned off my phone and went back to sleep. Sure enough, when I woke up the next morning, I found a couple more messages from Bonnie. Nothing important, just more Drunk Dialing. I also found a text she wrote when she woke up that said "Sorry about the drunk dialing."

At least she realized what she had done and that it was wrong. I really don't drink enough to ever drunk dial anyone. But that's okay. Sometimes you can dial someone while stone sober and still annoy them just as much. Trust me, I'm an expert at it!